GOD, LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS by Tony Onuoha


The world as it is today is immersed and submerged in the basic concept of relationship. Simply put, the world is a relationship between the forces of law and nature and the physical forces of human and animals alike. The concept of relationship can also be grouped into the interpersonal and the intrapersonal form; by interpersonal, it connotes the relationship between one and another, and by intrapersonal, it implies the relationship with oneself.

With the understanding of this salient forms of relationship, it therefore becomes pertinent that for one to have a good relationship with another, be it nature or human alike, one firstly have to imbibe or create a good relationship with him or herself. To this end, your intrapersonal relationship becomes a yardstick for the success of your interpersonal relationship.

Dating, courtship and marriage in our present dispensation has become one of the many concepts relationships have been relegated to. What I mean by this is that when the word relationship is mentioned in certain areas of our society today, it is quickly given a romantic affiliation or coloration which is unquestionably and undeniably domiciled in dating and marriage.

This assertion thus begs the question, for a loving, healthy effective and long-lasting relationship to be achieved, what are the salient relationship yardsticks to be put in place?  Remember, for one to have a foresight and knowledge towards achieving a goal or target, one must first have to decipher and plot certain plans that are important to the success of the given objective. In essence, for the attainment of a successful, unrelenting, unflinching and never say die relationship life, one needs to be accustomed with certain ladders of a successful relationship. These ladders thus serve as a means to an end in the attainment of peace and mutual understanding in a relationship. These yardsticks(Ladders) can be found in one single concept, LOVE. Single it is, but the proper understanding of this concept brings to limelight other sub concepts like wisdom, understanding, tolerance, meekness, trust, peace, joy and many other fruits of the spirit.

The concept of love in any relationship is one which is of an utmost importance. It serves as the Midas touch in the already decorated room of relationship. It is not the iceberg itself, but just the tip. ‘’through wisdom, a house is built, and through understanding, its walls are established” in the late Pastor Myles Munroe’s teaching on relationship, he posits that love isn’t the most important in relationship, he admonishes the people to seek instead for knowledge and understanding, and love will come running. He used his relationship sermon as another way of making the people seek God and his words, for in God lies an avalanche of knowledge vast enough to promote a blissful relationship. Love builds the relationship, wisdom and understanding keeps the relationship. 

One of the major shortcomings or failures in most relationship is that they are built on the notion of romantic love. There is no denying the fact that romance is essential in a relationship, but the true concept of love must be understood before being applied. That is to say that what many might see or call love can be a total misrepresentation of the true concept of love. For one to fully come to the actualization and understanding of the word love, he must first have built a relationship with God. In essence, if you want to find love, first find God because God is love.

Love in recent times has been fine-tuned to suit the whips and caprices of certain individuals who are either lazy or are not willing to go through the hurdles and pains of love. Love is golden and rare to find. Gold is the purest and priceless of all ornaments, but this finesse is only attained after several refining processes, fire inclusive, and at the end the most precious of substance is produced. So instead of having to go through fire to achieve gold, most people defy and ignore these processes and in turn create their own false representation of gold(Love).

Love is priceless, love is sacrificial, love hurts, love is giving without expecting, love is the ability to lay down without doubt that which is most precious to you just so it becomes precious to another.

It is the ability to lose oneself so that another might live. It is about letting go without feeling low. But the unintended consequence is that all these comes with a reward. A definite reward that exceeds ones’ widest imaginations and fantasies. All these are only actualized when one is willing to go through the furnace of love just to produce the most precious of all.

The Godly factor in love and relationship works hand in hand. For the attainment of a successful relationship, God must be the unnegotiable catalyst. God must come first in any given relationship whatsoever. When God is the foundation of any relationship, it becomes rock solid, strong, without any form of human, spiritual or supernatural penetration. A relationship founded and funded on Godly principles is a relationship on the right path.

The mistake most people make today is that their relationships are built on their romantic and melodramatic charade called lust, but they choose to term it love. Relationships are set upon romantic grounds that are soon to fall apart by the simplest of winds, winds that comes in form of trials and misunderstandings.

So, as you go out today, as you walk with your head held high, as you bask in the euphoria of that relationship you are in, as he or she sweeps you off your feet with sweet empty nothings, as you look at that kid of yours and he/she gives you that million dollar smile that words cannot express, take out time to redefine your concept of love. It begins with you. Learn to love yourself and in turn transcend that love to those around you.  

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